Richard of Gloucester (gloucester) wrote in coalbiters,
Richard of Gloucester

The Chosen One

The Bard found them all a nice booth in the corner and scooted in. The others soon folloed suit. Aang coughed in the dimly lit haze of cigarette smoke while another drunk patron wailed about standing by her man from the karaoke mike.

"It smells like an opium den in here." Aang waved his hand back and forth in front of his face.

A blonde waitress in a black apron walked up. "Okay, I'm going to need to see ID's from you, you, you, and you." She pointed to Aang, John, Harry, and Link.

Anakin gestured with a wiping motion of his right hand. "You don't need to see their identification." Whhhhhh pahhhhh....

"I don't need to see your identification." She waved dismissively with a smile.

John grinned at Anakin. "Thanks, buddy."

"So what'll you have?"

Harry looked to The Bard. "This was your idea. What do you reccommend?"

The Bard said, "Got Stromness Stout?"

She thought for a moment. "We got Guiness."

"That'll work. We'll have seven." He smirked to Aang. "It'll put hair on your chest."

Aang chuckled. "Alright! Finally, I can impress Katara!"

Paul arched one eyebrow at the young monk. "You mean she's not impressed by your utter mastery of the four elements and saving the world from a despotic dictator?"

Harry sighed. "It is a rather unfortunate side effect of our nature," he said. "No matter how many epic battles of good and evil you fight..."

John chuckled and finished the thought. "...It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing."

Harry laughed, and offered a high five, which John indulged.

Anakin looked at the next guy up to sing Karaoke. "We both lie sound asleep in the dead of night...and though we both lie close together, we feel miles apart inside..." The Bard groaned and covered his ears. "Not this crap..."

Anakin said, "Do you think they'd let me sing?" Whhhhhh pahhhhh....

The Bard looked to him hopefully. "Absolutely, mate! Go up there and get your name on the list!"

Anakin giggled frighteningly, stood up quickly and hustled over to the karaoke DJ.

The waitress returned with a tray of drinks black as tar. She began to distribute them. "Alright, seven Guinesses."

"Thanks." The Bard gave her a winning smile. She blushed, and grinned back as she departed.

The Bard took a deep drink. As he did, he heard several gags, exclamations of displeasure, and one surprised spit.

Aang looked at him dubiously. "I don't think my chest can handle this much hair."

Paul took another cautious drink, then shrugged. "'s the first drink I've had in a while that didn't have spice in it. Guess I get to be hung over tomorrow." He took another sip.

Link set his pint down. "I can dance."

Harry squinted at him. "What?"

"It don't mean a thing if we ain't got that swing." Link shrugged. "I can dance. The Gorons taught me."

John grinned. "Alright. Maybe you can show us a few moves?"

"No. It's ceremonial."

The Bard grinned at them all incredulously. "You mean you lot don't know how to dance?"

Harry blushed. "I can waltz. Sort of."

Paul shrugged. "Caladanian court dances."

Aang brightened up. "Katara and I taught a school full of Fire-nation children to dance!"

The Bard chuckled, and thumped his pint down. "Come on. I'm about to show you all how the zombies stomp the dungeon."

The Bard led them to the dance floor in the middle. He limbered up with a few quick turns and spins. "Alright. Now--"

"Hey watch it, asshole!"

The Bard turned toward the comotion in time to see John jerk back from a bald, tatooed, musclebound man with a pool-cue, who had aparently been made to miss his shot by John's carelessness.

John held up both hands. "Whoa, sorry there, man."

"You made me miss my shot!" He pounded one fist into his hand as he advanced toward John, who backpedalled quickly. "I had fifty bucks riding on this game! You got fifty bucks, douchebag?!"

The Bard saw Link's eyes take on a narrow, almost predatory focus toward the man. Paul clenched his fists, and Harry went for his wand, leveling it on the man. "There a problem, gentlemen?"

The man stared at Harry, then burst out laughing. "What are you gonna do, turn me into a newt?"

Aang sauntered up, blowing on his fingernails. "No. He's too honorable." He grinned at the man. "But I'm not."

"Stay out of this, kid. This is between me and douchebag here."

John smiled, surveying both friend and foe alike. "Okay everybody just calm down--"

The man jerked back his fist, but The Bard heard some quiet, indistinct vocalization from Paul. "Saaaa SA!" The man jerked back just a few inches under a non-lethal but annoying impact.

Paul lowered his wrist-device, glaring through his blue-glowing eyes. "I'd think real hard about that if I were you."

The man gave Paul a look to match his killing-word name.

"Say." The Bard swaggered up. "You gentlemen dance?"

"Not with you, fairy." The man's friends chuckled derisively.

Link looked at The Bard curiously. "You have fairy blood in you?--"

The Bard motioned him quiet. "I propose a dance-off to solve this little altercation. If you win, we leave. If we win, you leave us alone the rest of the night."

The man appeared to be thinking about it. He looked to his friends, and then back to the Bard. "Alright. To what song?"

A sound like a swamp gas pocket clearing its throat sounded over the microphone. A deep, gravelly voice rang out. "This is for my friends on the dance floor."

The Bard smiled, as a bass guitar and drum picked up a lively beat, followed by epic synthesizer. "They sentenced me to 20 years of boredom...for tryin' to change the system from within...I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them..."

The Bard turned to the rest of the crew. "Everyone follow my lead." He grinned. With that, he turned, and began to stomp the yard, zombie style.

"First, we take manhattan..." Whhhhhh pahhhh.... "THEN WE TAKE BERLIN!"


It would have gone so much better if the others could dance. It must have truly been a sight to behold--and laugh at--from the sidelines. The Bard did his zombie crumping well enough, but the others just could not follow. Paul did some wierd robotic thing with jerky movements, John did something with moving his hands back and forth over his knees, Harry tried to headbang, of all things; Link must have lapsed into his Goron dancing, because what came out was some kind of bizarre interpretive balet. Aang arguably acquited himself best, with some combination of martial arts moves that came out not unlike The Bard's own crumping moves. In the end, a circle cleared for him on the dance floor--but it ended when he tried to walk like an egyptian.

In the end--The Chosen Ones got served.

Harry sighed in the cold night air with the bar behind them. "Well that was...interesting."

Aang grinned. "That was great! Can we do that again sometime?"

Anakin nodded, his breath fogging in the cold in front of his face-plate grill. "I agree. Relaxation was just what we need."

Paul smirked. "Maybe we'll get some next time."

The Bard smirked. "Oh, the night's not over." He motioned to follow. "Come on. I know a few places that are still open."

"Alright!" "Yesss!" "Lead on, hotman!"

And so the Bard led them on, to happen to many more people that night.
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